I'm going to run like crazy and leave cows alone.

More postings are up at COFFEE. 
 
Tanya is going to work on her rigid self controlled self and possibly jump out of an airplane (or take dance lessons) (or, hey Tanya, how about taking dance lessons WHILE jumping out of an airplane? That WOULD be a scary challenge).

And I am going to become a Food Network star (in my head) and eat more vegetables. And run a mile. Like a walrus. Hooray!

COFFEE's on!

We've begun posting all about our individual projects. Patresa, who will be working on unleashing her inner Alanis Morissette, has published her first article about the why's and how's behind her project. You can read about that by clicking HERE.

And go make your own project! Get yourself some COFFEE! Leave a comment letting everyone know you'd like to get jiggy with your bad self, and we'll link up to your blog/project in our Community Links area, and check on you frequently, and offer to kick your butt if it looks like you need some of that. Or cream. If you like your COFFEE less intense, with some cream, we can send some of that your way as well.

The COFFEE project. It's not for wimps.

Where you can find me (if you think you may want to look).

My last post here was 2 months ago. I had deep suspicions, when I set this thing up, that would probably happen. I think I even tried to warn any new visitors stopping by that might happen, in fact. I'm the blogging version of the guy who says he'll call and then never does.

What's been up with me?

Well, last night I had a dream in which I moved to Savannah, GA. I immediately became romantically involved with the troll who lives under the bridge, and after a mere 2 weeks of dating, he dumped me for another troll who got all snotty about it and called me up going "I'm dating the troll now! I'm dating the troll now!". When I confronted the troll, crying, and asked, "But can we still be friends?" he said he wasn't sure. I worked as a dishwasher/busboy at a restaurant and lived in squalor. I had a greasy landlord who refused to fix my toilet which was leaking sewage everywhere, and my stove and refrigerator were both located in my sewage-filled bathroom. He refused to come fix my toilet until I told him I was calling 9-1-1. All I kept thinking throughout my dream was: How can I convince HGTV to do a makeover on this squalid apartment?

So other than dealing with bizarre dreams like last night's, I have no excuse for my absence except to say: once a new school year starts, I barely have time to take a shower each day. Once my (almost 2, she's almost 2!) girl gets more independent (currently, she's leaning against me, begging me to put on Dora....no, change it to Diego....no, I want Kai-lan!) I have high hopes for this to be rectified in more satisfying ways. (I could write during her 2 hour naps but, quite frankly, when she's napping, so am I.)

Anyway, I am still around. In fact, in a couple of more weeks, I'll be around much more frequently. And so if you'd like to read (more updated and hopefully less weird) updates from me, I'll be working on an exciting new collaborative blog project called COFFEE. Go HERE to find out more about it (postings will begin toward the end of October, around the 20th. I'll post a notice here when the first person writes her first post (mine will be up on the 27th).

ten thoughts in my head

1. I'm glad to have a job I generally enjoy and feel successful at, but sad that tomorrow my vacation ends and I have to go back to working for my monthly paychecks. Why can't they just send me my monthly paychecks without me having to go to work? I would continue to generally enjoy and feel successful at this job, and be glad to have it, and also I'd feel so much better rested. And my laundry would be folded and put away much more consistently.

   2. I saw INCEPTION yesterday and now I want to be a dream weaver, but only if Leonardo Dicaprio can be my sidekick. He has nice eyes, and I can't find one single example on the internet of where he's acted like a diva to any of his fans. Though I can find at least 30 various examples of his fans acting like divas toward him.

3. I also really like these actresses: Patricia Clarkson, Kate Winslet, Julianne Moore, Meryl Streep, and Bryce Dallas Howard. I would like to invite them out for coffee, so we can talk about motherhood and the state of the world. I don't think Britney Spears would be a good coffee date. I think if Britney Spears came to have coffee with Patricia, Kate, Julianne, Bryce, Meryl, and me, we'd spend a lot of time cheering her up, and then we'd shake our heads after she left and wonder about her. 

4. I spent 15 seconds this morning de-bunking a crazy-making email my mother sent me about some cap and trade bill in Congress right now. This email claimed we'd all have to have house licenses to sell our homes in the future, and Obama was trying to control who can and can't sell a house. It turns out the cap and trade bill does not have anything in it about house selling licenses, and it's only encouraging homeowners to install energy saving devices in their homes on a voluntary basis, not forcing anybody to do anything. Because installing energy saving devices in your home will protect the environment and save you money.

The words "cap and trade" make my eyes glaze over.

5. Then I spent 20 minutes trying to understand the ton of tax hike and anti-health care reform information that was forwarded to her. She's terrified after reading this, and I can see why: just a load of confusing words with no unbiased resources to back up anything that's in the email. And it's all written in twisted, angry words meant to frighten and confuse.

Taxes and money talk make my eyes glaze over. But I know twisted, angry writing when I see it, and I think as soon as Congress gets done taxing the poor and middle class and helping the rich, they should immediately outlaw twisted, angry writing in mass, forwarded emails.

6. Why is it so humid? WHY is it SO humid??

7. Did you know that Leonardo Dicaprio is only 5'11"? I really thought he was more like 6'1". There's a website HERE that debates how tall Leonardo Dicaprio is. It's really geeky.

8. One of our neighbors drives a school bus. Today, C and I went out for lunch. We saw our school bus neighbor eating lunch with some of his bus driver friends in the booth across from us. He was really excited about being awarded the Math Institute route this year--he gets to drive the math geeks to and from school every afternoon. I wondered if some of them ever argue about how tall celebrities are, on the internet.

Then I found THIS place and realized: nah.

9. I wish I had a really important, deeply wise, insanely helpful tip on motherhood to put here. A tip that would make this blog go viral, and maybe I could mass produce some t-shirts with my insanely helpful, deeply wise, really important mothering logo-tip on them that would put about $500,000 in my bank account. The government (according to my mother's crazy emails) would take 75% of this, which would still leave me with $250,000. I would pay off my house with that money. And get fresh highlights on my hair.

10. Right now, it's 4 PM. In 4 more hours Melissa will be taking a bath and going to bed. And then so will I. In 14 hours I will be cruelly woken up by an alarm, and will begin another school year. It's always a process, the beginning and ending of a school year. It's the middle that counts the most, I think.

Must remember this thought in 14 hours.

disjointed thoughts about privilege and poor behavior in hotels.

I just returned from a family trip to the funny, sunny Pocono Mountains where some animals were encountered, amusement park rides were ridden, I was able to visit family I haven't visited in far too many years.** But mostly there was a lot of time travel. I time traveled for about a week, and I'm still not sure what year I've returned to. But whichever year it is I must say it is amazing! The televisions have more than 13 channels! And I haven't seen a single piece of overly flowered wall paper circa 1982! I'm so glad to be here; quantum physics/time leaping can be so frightening when not used appropriately.

It was a 14 hour drive. My stepfather drove, and we proved my mother wrong: you CAN pack their minivan with 3,000 pounds of luggage. (Please note: only 300 of these pounds belonged to us, thus further reinforcing my claim my mother is a victim of severe over-dramatics.) Each way, we divided our trip in half and spent the night at a lovely Holiday Inn Express in Salem, Virginia before finishing the ride to and from.

I had one WOW! experience at this Holiday Inn Express and one REALLY? REALLY?? experience.

They are as follows:

Part 1, WOW!. Traveling to Pennsylvania, on the morning we checked out.

A very tanned lady, 45-ish, dressed in full Elly May Clampett costume complete with a brunette version of Elly May's braided hair (with plaid hair bows). Ran around the lobby giving loud orders to the girls' soccer team she was supervising (all looked half asleep) and then, when no one returned to the front desk to answer a ringing phone? She reached over and answered it herself. She proceeded to have an overly loud conversation with someone who appeared to be a hotel guest that went like this:

"I don't know. I'll write a note and leave it with the front desk person. No, I don't work here. I can't tell you who I am. I just answered the phone because no one was here. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know! Look, I just answered this phone to help out. No, I don't work here.  Because no one is here right now. I'm just a guest at the hotel. They're not paying me. I don't know. I can't tell you that. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know! No, I only answered because no one was behind the desk. I'll write your number down and leave them a note. I don't know. I don't know! I'm not telling you my name. Because it doesn't matter. I'm just trying to help. Do you want me to write a note or not? I don't know! Oh, wait! Here comes someone. Talk to her."

Meanwhile, her soccer team girls were running around eating all the bacon and eggs provided in the lobby, complaining about how tired they were, and they kept taking their shoes and socks on and off and I was kind of sad C wasn't around to witness that. C has issues with bare feet. (Did you know?)

Part 2, REALLY? REALLY??. Returning home.

Melissa, C, my mother and stepfather, and I were all enjoying eggs and bacon and cinnamon buns in the lobby/breakfast nook Sunday morning. A family of four sat nearby our table--a mom, a dad, an 8 year old, and her older sister. They kept looking our way. Finally, Melissa and I got up to throw away our plates, and the 8 year old yells: "But one of them is white."

At first I wasn't sure who the 8 year old was talking about. Because, really, the entire lobby/breakfast nook was filled with only white people at that point, except for C and half of Melissa. And then the 8 year old yelled it again, with more loud emphasis on the color word this time: "But one of them is WHITE!!" And I realized my daughter and I were being looked at and talked about and analyzed like animals. In a zoo.

The most upsetting thing about this to me wasn't what came out of the mouth of an 8 year old with no social filter; what upset me the most was the fact there were two adults at that table and not one of them said anything like: "Hey, kid. You're being rude." or "Please speak more softly." or "That's none of your business." or "So?"  They sat and stared at us, mouths open, thinking--I'm presuming--the same thing their kid was voicing.

I really wanted to punch that kid in the head. But is it really her fault she's growing up in a bubble of white/social privilege and clearly isn't being taught a single thing about appropriate situations to verbalize one's arrogant bigotry vs. inappropriate situations to show one's enormous ignorance? Which means I eventually decided to spend the rest of the ride home fantasizing me punching her parents in their heads.

For those who are unaware, let me illustrate with a handful of examples what white/social privilege is:

-when you walk into a roomful of any color of people, you never have to feel like you'll have to speak more eloquently, be more polite, work harder at being friendly so anyone who may have preconceived ideas and notions about people from your cultural or skin color background will (a) have those preconceived ideas and notions proven wrong at least this one time, and (b) feel more at ease with you.

-you can do well in a challenging situation and no one ever tells you or insinuates to you that you're a credit to your race.

-no one ever really focuses on your race, including you.

-you can easily buy books, cards, toys, and magazines featuring people of your ethnicity and cultural background. You never really have to search very hard for these items, and nobody has felt the need to invent a company exclusively catering these items to people of your ethnicity and cultural background due to the fact these items are never hard for people like you to find.

-you can take a job with an affirmative action employer, and nobody's going to get disgruntled about your presence, assuming you got the job based solely on your race or gender.

-you can think over and choose from many life options: political, social, educational, professional, creative and otherwise, without having to worry: would a person of my skin color or gender or sexual identity or linguistic or ethnic background be accepted at this?

-if you're in a position of leadership and find out you're incredibly bad at it, it's very unlikely someone will gossip about you behind your back, insinuating to others of like mind that you're failing because of your ethnic heritage, cultural or socioeconomic background, or your skin color.


 But mostly: privilege means never having to think about where you're at, who you're with, if a certain city will be safe or comfortable for you and your family to visit. Privilege is never having to wonder if someone is staring at you because they think your shirt is cute or are they secretly annoyed/grossed out/angry that interracial relationships are now legal? Privilege is kind of just knowing you have options and the system will eventually work in your favor, even if affirmative action still exists to piss you off. Privilege is getting to eat microwaved omelets in a hotel lobby without some snotty 8 year old and her family judging you and your family for something that isn't even remotely affecting their lives one single iota.

I'm writing all of this here because it's what I deeply wish I'd had the courage to say that kid and her family. If nothing else, I regret not walking over to them and saying what I say to a few of of the 6 year olds I work with who--at the beginning of each school year--inevitably want to know why I married Mr. C when his skin is brown and mine is white: "Because I loved Mr. C and Mr. C loved me. So we got married. And now we have a little girl, and she is both brown and white. Is it okay for people with different skin colors to live together and be a family?"

(For the record: I've never, ever had a child answer "No." They always (always) either have seen how silly their question was or recognized by the tone of my voice that their question was really inappropriate.)

Instead, I took Melissa back to the table and began my predictable process of passive aggression: pointing to the 8 year old and her family, saying something like, "You'd think in the year 2010 people would at least teach their children to filter the bigotry in public spaces." Shaking mad.

I don't know if anybody at the other table heard me. They were too astonished at the other interracial family that just walked into the lobby. And one of them was WHITE.

**Much lighter and far more amusing photoblog/documentary to follow.